I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want to make out with him forever
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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