What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
