Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
