you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
