i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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