we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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