Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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