You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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