why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
