So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
