One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
