you would pick up someone in the library
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
