I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize