Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
