btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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