im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
