remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize