Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
