Its about making memories worth repressing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think your dad took our porno
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
