I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
