The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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