remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
