Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
