South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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