Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
