I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
should my penis look like a turkey
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
