my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
