We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
