sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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