No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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