Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
