My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize