Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
