Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
