SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
