all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
