is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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