with your own penis?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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