Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
