Pappa wants mamma naked
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
