Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
