i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
