Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
