i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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