Quick, to the slutcave!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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