you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
