real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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