and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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