My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
