The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
