If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
false alarm. still invincible.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
