Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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