You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
