I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
