i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
