he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
