used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
