So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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