My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You have to summon your inner elephant
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
