I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
