Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
