I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize