There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
