I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
