Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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