dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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