She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
