That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
