haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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