omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
