So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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