He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
