Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
