M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
