I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this just has baby written all over it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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