he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
