Whod you bang
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
