I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
