I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It's never too late to be topless.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
